Category: Rants

Tinfoil hats

Tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist jackasses. Ok guys, just what the hell is your problem? You think the thought police are everywhere to make sure you aren’t thinking things you shouldn’t? What I want to know is – who the fuck cares about your stupidass bedtime stories?! Seriously.

So let me ask. Did the government install any cameras in your home for any reason other than doing something to make the FBI take notice and get permission from a judge to bug your house? Do you have to go to Two Minutes Hate sessions? Am I communicating to you in Newspeak? Is the entire media funneled into one outlet that’s run by the state?

No, no, no, and no. And you know why? Because the government is not trying to control you. The government is not watching you because you are an insignificant, unimportant, self-centered jackass who doesn’t pose a threat to anyone or anything. They have more important shit to do right now, like keep these idiots like Osama Bin Laden and his gang of dirty nightshirt-wearing motherfuckers – who, unlike you, have actually shown themselves to be a danger to this country – from taking down buildings on American soil just because we aren’t all Muslims.

And while I’m thinking about it, stop bitching about cameras being installed on stoplights. We call the outside world “public” for a reason – because it’s not private, and you are not entitled to privacy there. Having that camera sitting there is no different from having a police officer sitting on the other side of the intersection watching for speeders, drunks, and idiots who run red lights. Except now you get your ticket in a week instead of on the spot, and the cops are free to respond to things that are actually important – unlike you. Get over yourself and you’ll sleep a lot better at night.

What’s funny is that by holding this position I’m labeled by these morons as a citizen who was ‘re-educated’ by the government, or at the very least blinded by all the government’s lies and cover-ups. Guess what – it’s as American to dress up in a Storm Trooper uniform at a Star Wars premiere as it is to laugh at dorks who do that. So while you’re watching over your shoulders for Big Brother, I’m taking a ride in the ROFL Copter. Good luck with your resistance against the machine, asshats.

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Goddamn annoying IE bug

I can’t figure this out. If you use absolute-positioned DIV tags in your website, Internet Explorer 6 will not let you highlight whatever text you want. Instead it just seems to pick a huge section of text and highlights all that for you. The only fix is to throw in some javascript code that doesn’t look like it does anything to solve the problem yet still manages to do so.

THANKS, MICROSOFT!

Now I know why I’ve been using Firefox exclusively for almost the last year now. If a bug like that made it into the software in a nightly build it’d be stamped out that night. Nobody would stand for shit like that. I’m not some open source zealot or anything, in fact I don’t mind Windows much at all. But seriously. There’s a continual lack of support for standards set down by the W3 Consortium.

And the holes in security are outrageous – don’t believe me? Hop over to http://www.incredimail.com and try going some place in their support section … and watch as the website not-so-politely tries to install their shit on your computer without your permission. And if you had ActiveX shit enabled (which Internet Explorer does, by default), you’d have had yourself a brand new mail program. Just for clicking on a link. Internet Explorer is teh suck.

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The New Hotness™

Old and busted – dumb bitches with more silicon in their tits than brains in their head. Just like this bimbo:

The New Hotness™ – fly Chinese women who star in Jackie Chan movies and other uber-philsophical martial arts movies. Like Maggie Cheung:

Recognize.

[Historical note 2021-03-30: archive lost the original Maggie Cheung picture, so I substituted in one that I think I might have used. Whatever the case, my original point stands.]

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Drivers

People who don’t clear the way for people to get off of on-ramps on highways/freeways/etc when they have plenty of room in the next lane over. Ok, WHAT THE FUCK. Did you get lost on the way to driver’s ed in high school and manage to get into special ed instead? How about get off your goddamn cellphone for once in your life and pay attention to what the hell is going on around you. Your tax money may help with upkeep of the nation’s road system but that sure as hell doesn’t mean you own the shit.

Now get the FUCK out of my way.

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Get a Job, Bum

Over the course of the last three months I’ve just about applied for every helpdesk position in Omaha and Lincoln, and some in California too. The fact that I still don’t have a helpdesk position stands as proof of how well that’s working out. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing wrong. I’ve tried several different resumes and cover letters, including some fashioned after some book designed for military personnel who are retired and looking for work in the civilian market. I always get either “we decided to go with another candidate” or I don’t get anything at all. Actually, that’s not exactly true – Time Warner sent me a letter three months after I applied for a broadband installer position. I had totally forgotten about that. Thanks, Time Warner! Jackasses. Seriously, how hard is it for you to drop a rejection letter in the mail and not have it take three months?

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