A little burnt around the edges

After spending every free moment possible studying, including several hours immediately before, I walked into the calculus class one morning a couple weeks ago and wiped on the first test. It wasn’t because of the material; I had done all the homework along the way and had absolutely no problem with the material I was being tested on. When I got the test back, there were two things wrong: first, I had completely blanked on procedure for one problem, and second, there were stupid mistakes riddled all over the remainder of the test. In other words, I should have aced the test, and instead ended up scoring myself out of even getting an A for the term.

The stupid mistakes have crept into my Japanese homework and tests too, but they haven’t been bad enough to cause any problems yet. Probably because I aced that class seven years ago and this is a glorified review.

Meanwhile at work, the last month I’ve shown up late more frequently than I’ve shown up on time, I’ve been forgetting things here and there, putting off more important things for easier things that were less important, among other things.

In other words, I’m trying to balance a more-than full time job against an almost-full time class load, and in the process I’m not doing particularly well at either. As much as it pisses me off, I had to drop out of calculus. I was absolutely sure I could do everything, even though it sucked being responsible for being someplace every day of the week including Saturday and Sunday. I’m extremely disappointed I had to do it, especially considering I enjoyed the class. What it comes down to is, if this is how things are going to be after just one month, there’s no way I’m going to be able to sustain everything for the course of an entire year as had been the plan. I guess now I know what my limits are.

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