So I was bored Saturday night and decided to go watch a movie. Having already seen Last Samurai twice I figured I’d go see something else instead – so I picked Timeline. The premise is simple, a group of archaeologists take a trip to France in the year 1357 and hilarity – along with one of the last known French military victories (did you mean French military defeats?) – ensues. Sound interesting? No. This movie is bad, horribly horribly bad. Whoever thought this would be a good idea should be fired and forever banned from ever making a movie ever again. Under no circumstances should you mix:
A) The white guy from Fast and Furious, 2 not-so-hot looking chicks, a dude with a French accent, 2 dudes with Scottish accents, and the French dude from the Matrix.
with:
B) A mediocre science fiction story from Michael Crichton (seriously, after Andromeda Strain its clear this guy has more talent) that pretty loosely resembles some piece of shit I wrote in seventh grade English for a creative writing assignment.
I want my $7.50 back!